Dedede the Telemarketer
by Master Pencil
Summary: In this sequel to Dedede the Chocolate Salesman, our self-proclaimed king goes too far when he pesters Pop Star with his manipulative phone. Can he be stopped? Based on the games.
1. Chapter 1 New Job

**Dedede the Telemarketer**

**By Master Pencil**

Chapter 1 New Job

A happy, cheerful sun rose above a happy, cheerful Dream Land. The bright sunshine crept up to a large castle window and met the face of a big penguin king on his master king bed. His big eyes opened to see the beauty that was morning, but he hardly seemed happy about it.

"I hate Mondays," he groaned. He let lose a huge yawn that echoed out into the halls, summoning his Waddle Dee servants to get his huge breakfast. In a matter of minutes, a plate of eggs, bacon, sausage, pancakes, biscuits, cinnamon rolls, and French toast was on his bed.

With one suck of air, he ate all of it in one gulp. He burped a Waddle Dee servant rookie all the way to the other side of the chamber, where it marveled at the combination of smells with hunger. He hopped out of bed and scrolled to the window to see the kingdom that he thought was his. It was a good thing to be king, but he wanted to have a second occupation so he could feel fulfilled.

"I need a job," he said. The other Waddle Dees nodded in agreement.

"I feel lazy after all that running around selling chocolate, but I don't want to do anything like that," he continued. A knock at the door startled him.

"Come in!" he called. The door opened to reveal Chef Kawasaki, a chef famous for his good cooking.

"King Dedede, I heard that you need a job," he said.

"How come everybody on Pop Star has to put their nose in my business?!" he complained.

"We're just curious what you're gonna do, since you were so successful at chocolate selling and everything," he replied.

"Well…it has to be a easy, convenient job where I could sit in one spot all day!" he told him.

"I kinda need someone to advertise and sell my cooking products," said Kawasaki.

"How can I sell your stuff without walking everywhere?" he asked.

"You don't have to! In today's modern time, you can do all your selling from one spot!" he replied with enthusiasm. King Dedede grew increasingly interested in this job. Dreamland was almost kind of infamous for being low-tech, but there were telephones around at least.

"Incredible! It's about time Pop Star entered the technology age!" he exclaimed. The chef nodded with delight. Dedede was going to help him.

"Great! Then let's get your office started!" said Chef Kawasaki.

So the king and chef went to the kitchen where Kawasaki worked. From there they entered a secret passageway under the kitchen that led to a perfectly snug little office with a desk and telephone. It was simple, but it was good enough for King Dedede, since he really did need a break.

"All you gotta do is use the phone a lot," Chef Kawasaki explained. Not even that seemed demanding to Dedede.

"Good! That's all I need to know!" said Dedede. He sat himself at the desk with glee, and Chef Kawasaki walked away to the kitchen.

Now that he was alone, he wondered about the job he just got, and realized something.

"Hey! This sounds a lot like those telemarketers! They make all kinds of money!" he said. He got an idea, and it was a very naughty idea indeed.

"I'll be a telemarketer now! With selling chocolate as my experience, I'll soon be telemarketer king!" he exclaimed.

The first person he would call would be a no-brainer. To Dedede, he was always his number one customer. It would be crazy not to call him.

"Here I come Meta Knight!" he said. Surely he wouldn't mind being called by a telemarketer…especially King Dedede.


	2. Chapter 2 Worthy Mixer

Chapter 2 Worthy Mixer

King Dedede loved the power of the telephone. He could communicate with Meta Knight without going on a tiresome trek to his house. Of course, being a telemarketer is strange business because it involved calling customers at the worst time. Dedede had a feeling it would anyway.

Meta Knight was no exception; King Dedede could hear a bunch of ruckus going on at his house on his phone.

"You just have to sign my autograph now!" a girl exclaimed in the background.

"No, I am afraid someone needs my assistance," he replied. King Dedede frowned with suspicion on the other line.

"What's going on over there Meta Knight?" he asked.

"They are here…" he muttered. King Dedede scoffed with disgust; he called at the worst time.

"Will they ever leave you at peace?" he retorted.

"No…never," he said bluntly. He then realized he made a horrible mistake.

"Oh no… I left Galaxia out on the table," he groaned. King Dedede went wide-eyed.

"Go get it before they sell it on the internet!" he ordered. Meta Knight was gone in a flash to snatch it from the pesky girl staring it with awe.

"Aw! It was so shiny!" she said.

"Only worthy warriors carry the Galaxia," he told her. King Dedede kept his jet hammer close to him.

"Why are you so popular anyway Meta Knight? Maybe I could learn some pointers from you," he said.

"It takes courage, strength, and high honor to get where I am," he told him.

"I think it's just because you're quiet all the time, the women really like the quiet type," said King Dedede.

Meta Knight only stood there.

"See? You're just perfect!" he complimented.

"Why do you call here King Dedede?" he asked. The fangirl was stamping her foot impatiently.

"I'm here to sell to you a great item called the Kawasaki Mixer! It can mix all kinds of fruit that can benefit your health and mind! Take some of Whispy's apples, a few strawberries, or any kind of fruit or vegetable and you'll get a great taste that will satisfy your belly to the max! The mixer is very efficient, only taking a couple seconds to make, and right now, you can get a discount of 10%! It's an offer you can't simply refuse!" he told him with his famous salesman talk he learned earlier.

"I have a mixer," he said. King Dedede gasped, his jaw hitting the floor.

"But…but… this one's better!" he sputtered.

"Nope, Meta Knight's mixer is a bajillon times better than yours!" said the fangirl.

"Hey! How can you hear me all the way over here?" Dedede complained.

"You have a big mouth, which means you must be a telemarketer!" she told him.

"Hey girl, you're insulting not only me, but Chef Kawasaki too!" he complained.

"Who cares?" she ranted. Meta Knight only stood there, probably being more effective than the other two. Chef Kawasaki could hear the back-and-forth going on downstairs, and he ran away in tears. King Dedede was starting to feel glad he didn't go there himself, or there would have been trouble.

"Anyway Meta Knight, you have to have this mixer, you can't live without it!" he told him.

"What would make it seem worthy to mine?" he asked. King Dedede thought about it.

"It's quieter," he said. Meta Knight wanted to find out once and for all. He went to his mixer, put in a few apples, and a loud whirring filled the house for a few seconds until it made the apple juice. It seemed to function just like the Kawasaki Mixer, and Dedede was starting to lose the argument.

"Take that King Dedede!" said the fangirl. "Being a telemarketer, you can't take it on yourself!"

"Why would I? The words speak for themselves!" he said.

"Yes King Dedede, but actions speak louder than words," Meta Knight told him.

"Go get him Meta Knight!" the fangirl cheered. King Dedede could tell that he was in trouble.

"Come on Meta Knight! You're my number one customer remember? Worthy Chocolate?" he tried to persuade him. He was about to hang up when his mixer started acting up. It sputtered and clunked to where it died at that moment. King Dedede smiled with content on the other line. He got him now.

"…"

"Great! I'll ship it over!" said King Dedede.

"No Meta Knight! He's tricking you!" the fangirl tried to tell him.

"…worthy mixer," he finally muttered. The fangirl started to cry.

"You won't regret this Meta Knight! It will work wonders for you because…well…" King Dedede went quiet.

"I understand you…" he replied. "I will send the gold immediately."

At that moment, the same telephone of his was interrupted by another call. In another scene, The _Halberd _was reporting an emergency.

"They're taking it over Meta Knight! They're playing around with Heavy Lobster and are signing all over The _Halberd_!" exclaimed the Waddle Dee with the sailor hat. Meta Knight sighed and hung up the phone. The girl tugged his cloak on his way out the door.

King Dedede hung up a little shaken, but was glad about his first successful call.

"Good thing my fans aren't that wild… I think," he muttered to himself. Chef Kawasaki came down to check on him.

"So how did your first customer go?" he asked.

King Dedede didn't say anything, he only smiled. Chef Kawasaki nodded.

"Ok, that's great! Keep up the good work, just be aware that not every customer's going to be easy" he said.

Once he was gone, King Dedede pulled out a long list of characters from all over Pop Star that he was going to call.

"This is going to be so good," he laughed with naughty delight.


	3. Chapter 3 Electric Box

Chapter 3 Electric Box

King Dedede's next victim was also the one he loved to pester. This unlucky customer was relaxing at this little house with his animal friends. He was eating his dinner with Rick the Hamster and Kine the Sunfish when the telephone rang. Kirby jumped off his chair and walked to it.

"Who's calling here?" asked Kine. Kirby came to the telephone to see just who.

"Poyo?" he called.

"Kirby, Kirby, Kirby, what's up with you today?" called King Dedede. Kirby jumped with surprise, while Rick and Kine glared with discontent. What was he was up to this time? King Dedede always held a grudge against Kirby since the very beginning, so they had to be careful.

"Before you hang up on me, there's something you just have to buy!" he told him. Kirby toke the time to think about what kind of offer he was selling, but he remained wary. It could be a trap he would sell to him, or it could be a dangerous monster such as Kracko the one-eyed cloud he could throw out.

"The perfect product for you is the Kawasaki Microwave! This lovely, little electric box can cook your meat in seconds! Unlike those other stupid electric boxes sold by inept, corrupt corporations, this thing can cook meat in just the right time and with all the food you can stuff in it!" he explained.

Rick came to Kirby, who was only standing there with blunt confusion.

"Sorry Kirby, I'll have to have a talk with him," he said. He snatched it from and Kirby and began his attack.

"Nice try Dedede, but we already have a good enough microwave to last a few years!" he said.

King Dedede sighed; now he was going to have to be defensive again.

"Rick, Rick, Rick, and a few years you say? Why this baby can go for twenty years!" he replied. Rick only made a cute frown.

"That's just some number you thought up," he said. King Dedede scoffed at that remark.

"It says so right on the box!" he said. He went underneath his desk to rummage through all the junk piled around his secret hideout. Rick and Kirby could hear all the noise on their line, and Kine was busy eating all the leftovers on the table. Dedede finally found it next to an ancient bookcase.

"Ah ha! On this side of the box, it says "Twenty year life-span!" he replied.

"Life-span? Your microwaves are alive?" Rick asked. Dedede looked harder to see the box he found was just a box of science books explaining how long Goggle-wearing fish named Blurbs lived in the wild. He tried to look for the real box, but it was nowhere to be seen. Rick and Kirby both frowned.

"So you're a telemarketer now?" Rick asked.

"Yeah, and?" he replied.

"Well…it's not as fun as selling chocolate you know," he told him.

"Come on now Rick, you need to realize that I can take on ANY job! Just look at my track record as King!" he replied.

"You're not even a king! You're "self-proclaimed" and that means you can be who ever you wanted to be!" Rick told him. King Dedede was quickly starting to get annoyed. So this big hamster was going to dare question his proven record? That was too much for the king to bear.

"Exactly! So I can handle this telemarketer job just fine!" he exclaimed.

Suddenly, an extremely loud noise passed over Kirby's house, and they could see the _Halberd _fly by in a very unstable fashion. Its presence shook the house, and when Kirby tried to cook a pizza slice in the microwave, sparks shot out of it. Dedede couldn't believe his luck. Rick stood there in shock.

"…"

"Thank you very much!" said King Dedede. Kirby jumped up and down with worry.

"Poyo Poyo!" he pleaded to Rick.

"…lovely electric box," he muttered. Kirby fell on the floor with defeat.

Back at his secret hiding place, King Dedede was relaxing on his chair with victory. Chef Kawasaki came with a plate of cookies.

"Ya know King Dedede. The quiet ones are the smart ones," he told him.

King Dedede stared at him with a smile of accomplishment.

Chef Kawasaki returned his happy silence too.

"Want cookies?" he asked. King Dedede continued to stare.

"Ok, here ya go!" he said. King Dedede sucked all the cookies into his belly.

"Yum, I'm just getting warmed up!" he told Chef Kawasaki. When he was gone, he chuckled darkly.

"They're going to love those products so much," he naughtily muttered.


	4. Chapter 4 The Weird Pan

Chapter 4 The Weird Pan

So Dedede the Telemarketer continued his path of annoyance throughout Dream Land. All that heard the call in the middle of their bites of food were subject to talk and persuading by the king, and there was little chance of getting away from him with a full wallet. From Waddle Dees to Waddle Doos, and from Bugzy to Bonkers, all the residents bought Kawasaki Bowls, Kawasaki Ice Boxes, Kawasaki Pans, Kawasaki Cookie Jars, and anything with the name of the chef on it.

The next victims to hear the ring were two little painters that spent most of their time painting animals or objects to make them come alive. They loved painting, and they had a strange habit of wearing the same clothes, which was a flat, red hat, green apron, and brown shoes. It also didn't help that they both had black hair, which was why everyone would confuse one with the other. The only difference between them was gender; one was a boy and the other a girl. Like all the other victims, they were beginning to eat dinner when the king called them. The boy came to answer the phone.

"Hello…which one of you is it?" King Dedede asked. The boy glared, he hated it when this happened.

"This is Ado!" he pouted.

"Nice hearing you Ado! It's been a while since we met!" he replied.

"King Dedede? I haven't heard you in a LONG time!" he exclaimed.

"Well, that's because people always confuse you with Adeleine!" Dedede told him.

"I hate it when that happens!" he pouted. "It's super easy to tell the difference!"

Adeleine heard their conversation and toke a break from eating to listen in.

"I'm here to give you the Kawasaki Frying Pan! Unlike those greasy, useless ones sold at junky discount stores, this baby can cook whatever you lay on it and it'll fry it in only ten minutes!" he told him.

"Ten minutes? That's a little too good to be true," said Ado.

"Oh no my little painter boy, this frying pan can also make cool little sound effects when you cook! When the cooking really heats up, you'll hear Kirby calling in the background to signal your successful cooking!" he continued. That just didn't seem right to him.

"That sounds disturbing," he replied.

"You're not cooking Kirby if that's what you think!" he told him.

"Yeah, but you're just trying to make money off of me. I say no way!" he retorted.

"Huh?" he blurted with surprise.

"But…but…it also glows in the dark!" he stuttered. Ado smirked unbelievably.

"Nice try King Dedede, but I can paint a better frying pan then you!" he replied. Adeleine came to Ado with a disappointed look. Ado was slightly shorter than her, and he had more of an attitude. Adeleine on the other hand, was more calm, good-natured, and nice. However, she was also gullible.

"I'll try to talk to him Ado," she told him.

"No Adeleine! He'll trick you!" he tried to tell her. But she was on the phone with King Dedede.

"Is it true it can do all of that King Dedede?" she asked.

"Well yeah Adeleine, I can try to have Chef Kawasaki do something in the background so you'll know!" he told her. Chef Kawasaki could hear the talk from downstairs, and set up the equipment down in Dedede's secret hideout to begin cooking meat on the Kawasaki Frying Pan.

"Let it rip, Kawasaki!" said Dedede. The chef began to cook the meat, and before long Kirby sounds were playing inside the weird, little frying pan. It began to glow in the dark, and although it sounded like magic to Adeleine, Ado thought it was pure garbage. It was too bad Adeleine was there.

"I'll take it!" Adeleine exclaimed. Ado stared at her in shock.

"What?" he balked. King Dedede chuckled with delight. Ado snatched the phone away from Adeleine.

"What happens when it's broke?" he barked.

"Well, send it for your money back… But that won't happen!" he exclaimed.

Ado was baring his teeth and shaking his clenched fists with anger.

"I can't believe you did that Adeleine! How dare you buy something like that?" he complained.

"Oh Ado, it's going to be so fun to cook with though!" she tried to tell him.

"Yeah right, you're not going to like it…sister" he muttered. King Dedede gasped on the other line.

"You're both siblings?" he exclaimed. Adeleine nodded her head.

"You just started another Kirby controversy, brother" she told him.

"The fans have to know sister," he told him. But King Dedede had hung up by then.

"Boy! This is too easy for me! Before long, I'll be swimming in glory!" he boasted.

Meanwhile, Chef Kawasaki was blogging on his secret computer, about to put up his blog about the painters being siblings.

"This is gonna be fun!" he snickered with odd mischief.

Return to


	5. Chapter 5 RAT

Chapter 5 RAT

It was staring to look like King Dedede could win. There was no end to his calling ways, and so some of the Dream Land residents began to take matters into their own hands. It was now or never, and they thought they were Dream Land's only hope to stop the telemarketing.

Those that didn't buy into Dedede's tricks joined forces to find his secret location and end the king's reign of annoyance for good. Their weapon to accomplish such a task was the very weapon Dedede wielded, and that was the telephone. This was now going to be a force for them.

It was obvious to them who the leader of their group should be, and that was the king's rival himself, Kirby. Although he didn't talk, he could at least direct the others on what to do and plan out. And so the group named Residents against Telemarketers (or RAT) went to warn all the potential victims to not buy anything off Dedede. They were calling as many people as they could to save them from the infamous call, and they did so in a better manner.

King Dedede was aware of this long before they even started, because he had a feeling they were going to do something.

"Thing is Kawasaki, my customers haven't gotten their products yet!" he said to him.

"Oh I'm just worried they think I'm behind all this," he said. Dedede laughed at that, because he was actually doing all the dirty work, not the chef.

"You just mind your own business and I'll do my job!" he told him.

When he was gone, he growled with frustration over this new challenge, and thought about how to combat it. He thought how he was going to sell his stuff and warn about RAT the same time, and this made him even more frustrated. For being in one spot, he could do so much.

So he called Knuckle Joe, a customer that gave him trouble last time, but he was the only one that might not have been warned by RAT. He was busy punching the stuffing off a punching bag when the phone rang, and he picked it up within seconds.

"Knuckle Joe! Been a while hasn't it?" called Dedede.

"You're not going to call me "buddy" this time right?" he asked.

"You bet! But first things first, you need to watch out for the pesky RAT!" he said.

"And what's that?" he replied.

"A group of rats that some cat chased like a bat, and that's that!" he answered. Knuckle Joe frowned on the other line.

"Fine, my rhyming needs work, but seriously! They are a bunch of boys crying wolf!" he told him.

"And what are they crying about?" he questioned.

"They think I'm evil or something, but that's stupid! I'm just selling cooking supplies!" he said.

"….You're a telemarketer?" he asked.

"Yeah, and?" he replied.

"…The wolf sure ate a lot of sheep after all," he muttered, and he soon hung up on Dedede.

"…NO!" he suddenly yelled. Silence meant happiness, so he was going to have to do the other way around to show his unhappiness.

He was yelling and hollering so much that the bookcase behind him toppled right on top of him. The blow was so punishing that he stopped at once. With his eyes rolling around, he collapsed on the floor and stayed there in total silence. It was unclear if he was happy or not.

He soon saw strange swirls and whirls, and that was when the dream came…


	6. Chapter 6 Tele Dream

Chapter 6 Tele Dream

King Dedede was sitting at a table with a Waddle Dee. There were many plates of turkey and brownies on this table, and Dedede was eating these while the Waddle Dee was playing a flute. The TV was playing an episode of a local, familiar anime. Dedede and Waddle Dee loved it.

Suddenly, there was light knocking at the door, and Dedede opened it to see Meta Knight. However, something did not look right. Meta Knight appeared to look tired and restless, and his yellow eyes seemed larger. The Waddle Dee was happy he wasn't like that snail guy on TV.

"What happened to you?" Dedede asked.

"I am trying to solve a puzzle," he said.

King Dedede saw that he carried a book of math equations, and King Dedede rolled his eyes. For a second, he thought the world rolled with him.

"I'll give you a strawberry if you keep it a secret," he told him.

"Ooooh," Dedede moaned with curiosity as he gave him a nice, ripe strawberry.

Meta Knight staggered into the small house, and for whatever reason, Chef Kawasaki was riding a green dirt bike outside in a motorcycle suit. King Dedede followed Meta Knight to a dark bedroom. Meta Knight sat at a desk and began concentrating hard on his math book.

"I will crack this code somehow, someway. I'll take a potato chip, and I'll... but Dedede didn't hear the rest of his talk because he left the bedroom in disbelief. He rolled his eyes, and this time the gravitational force was more noticeable. Curious, he started rolling his eyes into frenzy and everything was a blur until he found himself on a UFO. He could not believe how things could change so randomly, but he was going to be in for more.

Alarmed, he hung onto the UFO as it swooped down into a Greek-style temple with a magnificent plaza. It was here where the UFO toke him flying past crowds of fierce Waddle Dee soldiers with spears and armor before coming up to a starry sky. Loud hip-hop music sung by a loud-mouthed Waddle Dee warrior blared all around him, and the king was soon taken through a worm hole. An old school was now before him.

"What's this place?" he asked himself.

A boy was minding his own business until a couple of bullies surrounded him with a wicked gleam in their eyes. One of them carried a menacing paddle, and chased the poor victim around the school grounds. The king stared around until someone called to him.

"Well hi big guy!" called an old woman.

"Where am I? I've never been in a place with so many humans!" he exclaimed.

"Well, this is Madison Consolidated High School!" she told him. "I'm Mrs. Moore!"

"What's the date…?" he asked.

"It's April 12 1972," she told him. King Dedede's eyes became huge.

"Wait a second here…this is twenty years before the birth of Pop Star!" he exclaimed. The teacher stared him a little confused, but shrugged as they walked into the old 70's school. It was shocking to him how he got here in the first place, but he guessed that time travel was a very strange thing.

"I don't know how you got here, but I've been around quite a while," she said as they passed a poster of Richard Nixon.

_This place is freaky _he thought. The boy who was being bullied earlier was now chasing the two bullies with their paddle. King Dedede left the building and saw a time machine lying in the grass, and decided to use that to get out of there. After rough shaking, he hoped to see something better.

Instead, the time machine brought him to the same school many years later, and he was surprised to see how similar the school looked.

"This is not right," he groaned.

When he went inside, he was caught in the middle of a bunch of high schoolers scrambling to get to their classes, and he wondered how they totally ignored him even though he was the only giant penguin king in the hall. He figured that school was too full of "drama" to care for a stranger like him.

Once he was through that, he came upon a fish fry in the cafeteria, and since everyone else was ignoring him, he decided to eat some fish himself. The fish was extremely delicious, and he ate so much that a girl that looked surpringly similar to the fangirl earlier yelled at a guy named Blake to lay off the stuff. The king could tell this because she wore a fancy T-shirt with the knight adorned all over it. King Dedede was now glad he didn't have fans.

Coming back out, he saw Ado sitting up in a tree painting what looked like an electronic store. Before he could talk, he was suddenly sucked right into his painting and arrived at the location at night. The store was still open, and there were no cars or activity around the parking lot.

"Eh, I might as well see what they're selling," he said.

Inside, he saw Kirby, Chef Kawasaki, Bonkers, Kine, Rick, Ado, Meta Knight, and a raccoon and coyote named Pon and Con shopping around the shop. King Dedede directed his attention to the video game section, and came to see an excellent copy of Kirby Super Star Ultra waiting for him.

"Awesome! It has Revenge of the King on it!" he exclaimed. He was about to look at it further until the lights suddenly dimmed.

Fog came into the electronic store, and that was when a small figure walked silently toward them. It was a young girl with a long black and white cloak, black hair, and pale skin. But the one thing that really frightened Dedede was her eyes, which were entirely empty and white with no pupils.

"I have come to play," she said in a chilling voice.

"I have brought my friends, and they are also hungry as well," she told them all. The little raccoons and coyotes cowered behind Pon Con and Kirby was standing there frozen. Ado actually looked scared for once and even Meta Knight looked disturbed. King Dedede knew that trouble was here.

"Behind you are three doors," she continued. Three doors were at the back of the store, and there was also a screen up above them.

"Now that you all belong to us, you will be our delicious snacks," she said.

"Oh…who is it demon girl?" Chef Kawasaki asked shakingly.

"Why all of you of course," the demon girl said. King Dedede gulped hard, because he needed to escape immediately.

"Fix your eyes on the sceern," she said. They looked at a picture of a small boy getting eaten by a giant demon as his father looked on in horror.

"Being our food, you will be dealt with swift and surely," she concluded. "Now be hasty…Belfagor is hungry."

A monstrous roar boomed from the middle door, and everyone trembled with fear.

"Get Kirby!" King Dedede cried.

"Poyo!" he cried in protest. The door opened, and a long, shadowy hand snatched the poor Kirby and dragged him into the darkness on the other side.

"Food…Sweet, delicious food…it is over for you fool," bellowed Belfagor. King Dedede did not know if he was glad Kirby was going to get eaten by a demon or not, because as much as he despised him, he almost felt sorry for him. After all, he did help him in the past somewhat.

"NO!" he cried in fury. With his hammer raised, he dived into the darkness and swung with all his might at anything that would try to eat him. But he soon found himself in an old house with an old penguin staring at him. She wore a purple coat and round spectacles.

"Dedede, I need you to help Pepepe get that snake out of my attic," she told him.

"Gr...Gr…Grandma?" he cried in total shock. He hadn't seen her in years.

"Yeah Dedede, it's me, Grandma Fefefe, now go along up there!" she said.

So King Dedede and his cousin Pepepe went up the cramped staircase of his grandma's house to come into the ancient attic. It was here where there were many old antiques and family heirlooms from his entire family. Pepepe carried a long stick on him, and he thought he saw a slithering movement from up in the weak ceiling. Dedede was slightly nervous, but would feel great to help his long-lost grandma.

"Ok Dedede, I'm going to poke that snake up there, and you have to catch it with that bag," he told him. King Dedede opened it up and awaited the serpent to come out. His cousin looked back up and began to raise the stick to the roof.

Pepepe poked the ceiling hard, and a long, black snake dropped to the floor. It stared at the king, and with an almost sinister look in its eyes, it began to dart after him. Terror and fear flooded King Dedede as the black snake chased him throughout the attic. The snake was catching up to him fast, and Dedede was so afraid that he was going to be bitten that he screamed with sheer horror.

"NO! GET AWAY FROM ME! NO!" screamed King Dedede.

He was shaking and rolling all over the floor of the secret hiding place just as Chef Kawasaki came to see him in his state.

"Your majesty!" he pleaded. "You're ok! You're ok!"

King Dedede woke up with a shaken jolt, and he was finally back in the real world.

"Oh…man… I'm sweating…" he moaned.

"Oh my goodness, you need some help," Kawasaki said quietly. He used the phone to call the ambulance, and the chef witnessed them taking Dedede away to Dream Land's only hospital. He decided to call the people at RAT to tell them what they had done to Dedede the Telemarketer.

The king himself was tired and exhausted, still shaken by the dreams and nightmares.

"I don't know about you," he told the Waddle Dee with a medical hat. "But I'm taking a break from telemarketing for a while."


	7. Chapter 7 Nightmare Returns

Chapter 7 Nightmare Returns

The self-proclaimed telemarketer was flipping through the channels in his hospital room a couple hours later. A white cast replaced his usual red hat, and so Dedede sighed heavily at his unfortune. A break from his job was now going to have be a must for him. He hoped that RAT was happy now.

"Looks like I'm not cut out for everything," he groaned. The Poppy Bro that was bound in even more casts muffled in agreement. Outside, the elevator opened to reveal a disheartened group of RAT members. They shuffled out and searched for the king's room, their hearts feeling heavy. Although they felt Dedede deserved it for harassing Dream Land, they also felt that they were the ones responsible for the accident.

However, no one was sorrier than Chef Kawasaki. All he wanted to do was give the king a small job that turned ugly. The presence of a bookcase in that little room was unnecessary, so he was trying his best to not look miserable. It was hard enough telling RAT that he was the one behind it all.

Once they found it, they came inside with regretful looks. They expected him to criticize them on the spot, but all he did was look ahead with a pathetic look on his face. This turned out to be worse than scolding, because it was not like King Dedede to remain silent when enemies were in the room.

"Are you ok Dedede?" asked the fangirl.

"Thanks for the fish," he murmured.

"I thought it was Blake who always… but she stopped when Chef Kawasaki burst into tears.

"Oh I'm so sorry your majesty!" he wailed.

"You came here on a motorcycle right?" he asked, still staring straight.

"Wah?" he asked with tearful eyes.

"I think those dreams meant something," explained Dedede.

"No they didn't Dedede! They were just dreams and nightmares!" Ado told him.

King Dedede finally stared at them. He raised himself off the bed and studied them with his big, sad eyes.

"That star rod…something's messing with it," he grumbled. "I think that Nightmare just came back to annoy me again..."

The RAT group and Chef Kawasaki exchanged worried glances, and then King Dedede plopped back down on the bed.

"Star Rod…Nightmare…grandma," he whispered.

Suddenly, he immediately opened his eyes and sprang up on the bed, starting everyone. He then shocked them more by ripping off his head cast.

"I'm not in pain anymore!" he declared. "I, Dedede the telemarketer, am going to save the Star Rod from that stupid Nightmare!"

He barreled over the Waddle Dee nurses that got in his path on the way out. The RAT members only stayed in the room, trying not to believe what just happened. How did King Dedede know for sure that the dreaded Nightmare was back to try to get the Star Rod again? They simply didn't believe.

"He's so weird…never liked him so much," said the fangirl.

Chef Kawasaki on the other hand, was jumping with joy over the speedy recovery of the king. He dashed out of the room to catch up with Dedede, who was determined to accomplish his ultimate goal. To him, Nightmare was up there with Dark Matter as someone he hated more than Kirby.

Now back at the kitchen, King Dedede was pondering about how to combat the evil forces trying to do the Star Rod harm.

"So I guess those weird dreams and nightmares were a wake-up call?" Kawasaki asked.

"You bet Kawasaki! That little accident might have done some good after all!" he exclaimed.

There was still one thing he had to figure out. He had to reclaim the Star Rod before Nightmare does, and so he planned out how to reach it that night.

The Fountain of Dreams was as peaceful as ever, but Dedede was rushing towards it before he arrived. The king nabbed the rod before an orb shot out of the darkness seconds later. King Dedede fled as a flurry of dark stars was shot at his heels. He toke off and floated his way back toward home.

As the king went on back, he could hear complaints of the Dream Land residents about a lack of dreams, and so he hurried as fast as ever. A small figure was running around and waving his brush with anger with a girl running with a wild vengeance.

"King Dedede! I was about to marry Meta Knight, and everything went BLACK!" the fangirl screeched.

"I was dreaming about settling the gender problem, and it also went BLACK!" Ado yelled.

"Hey kiddies! Would you have rather had nightmares?" he shot back.

He still managed to get back home in one piece, and after lunging into the door, he started to inspect the treasure in his mitten. Chef Kawasaki was yawning, but he didn't want to go to sleep if there wasn't going to be any dreams.

"Hmmmmm," he hummed. A strange idea popped into his head, but it needed to be tried. He placed it to his ear just like a phone, and he began to talk about chocolate in his usual salesman rhetoric. It felt silly, but he had to combat Nightmare himself, not Kirby.

Sure enough, the Star Rod sparkled as a vision of a chocolate bar was shown inside, and Dedede closed his eyes to see it as plain as ordinary vision in his head. This excited him so much, that thoughts began going through his head about how to defeat Nightmare for good, while having fun himself.

"Brilliant!" he exclaimed.

"What is it?" asked Chef Kawasaki.

"There might be dreams…" he said, "But they're all going to come from ME!"


	8. Chapter 8 Dream Casting

Chapter 8 Dream Casting

A feeling spread through King Dedede, it filled him with powers and excitement he could not refuse to let loose. His mouth curled into a mischievous grin; widening as his inner realization rose into a smile. This was shown as bright as the Star Rod's light to Chef Kawasaki, who felt a growing dread of what was going through the king's head. That sleep might as well be well spent at a later time with what he was planning to do.

"You're not gonna do what you're about to do…" he asked nervously.

"Oh yes, Chef Kawasaki. Nightmare can look all over Pop Star, but in the meantime, I have some dreams to make!" he exclaimed.

To intervene a person's sleeping, all he simply had to do was say the name of the sleeper. It was then that he could implant his created dreams into their sleep. It was an idea that made him hungry for a little fun, even though it might upset some of the residents.

"Fangirl," he muttered into the Star Rod.

Much to his displeasure, thunderous snoring sprang from the Star Rod. Reeling back in discomfort, he immediately shook the Star Rod off.

"Should've been more specific," he said. So he chose to enter Kirby's mind.

The sound of his soft snoring was a sign to him that he was well into the time of receiving dreams. So with this in mind, he began to think quickly about what to give him. Through his thinking, he came up with the idea of promoting his products through "Dream Commercials" that would work well.

"You're in a home, watching your microwave cook," he said. The vision of Kirby sleeping changed to a scene where he was standing by his microwave as if he was cooking a quick snack. Everything was in good shape to tinker the mind, and so he decided to make up a typical, random dream.

"You're trying to cook chicken, but suddenly, Kracko jumps out of the microwave!" he exclaimed. The scene was working out just as he spoke, and Kirby was now facing the thundercloud in his kitchen. Dedede couldn't control emotions, because Kirby was staring at Kracko with complete surprise.

"You think you are in big trouble, but out of the bathroom comes the Kawasaki Microwave, snapping its lid at Kracko!" he said. The Kawasaki Microwave was snapping its lid at Kracko as though it were a dog, and so Dedede decided to start the battle sequence. He wanted this battle to be short.

With his words dictating the dream, the microwave tore at Kracko's puffy body as it shot lighting bolts throughout the room. Kirby only looked on in amazement. The microwave sucked the monster into its inside and began to bake him. Once finished, an enormous cookie popped out. A clone of King Dedede appeared from inside the cookie and told Kirby to keep buying his products.

"I hope you don't do that all night," Chef Kawasaki said with heavy eyes.

"Yeah, I guess you're right, Nightmare will be coming here any minute now," he said.

At the sound of that, Chef Kawasaki jumped into the air with renewed energy.

"Any minute?" he exclaimed.

"Yep, but don't you worry Kawasaki! I'll pack his bags and send him out the door for good!" he vowed.


	9. Chapter 9 Another Epic Advertisement

Chapter 9 Another Epic Advertisement

The time in which Nightmare appeared surprised the king and the chef. A star-studded orb shot around the house, making them eye the ball as it passed past their windows. After three complete circles, the orb burst through the door and appeared before them.

"Get back, you big bouncy ball!" King Dedede exclaimed, pointing the Star Road at him.

"Go get him your majesty!" said Chef Kawasaki as he raised his frying pan. He unexpectedly stuck it on Dedede's bottom, swung him around with surprising strength, and tossed him at Nightmare, thrusting them into the night sky.

King Dedede struggled to stay in the air once they reached the clouds, and maintained his speed just when Nightmare began shooting his first round of dark stars. He floated out of the stars' path, and began firing his own stars at Nightmare. The orb blurred with every blow of a star, and so he shot back more of his ammunition. The King thought that he should try a different attack.

Dedede pointed the Star Rod at the orb and it sparkled as though it was going to shoot another star. But this time, he muttered something underneath his breath, and the Star Rod shined a bright light at Nightmare. There was a loud boom, and the ball was flickering with electricity as it sped away to the moon. King Dedede quickly followed it to the battleground.

With the two of them apart, a blinding light flashed as Nightmare changed into his true form, and fired many shots of stars at the telemarketer king. He tried to avoid as many as he could, but a stray one smacked him on the belly and sent him tumbling onto the rough moon surface. A tall, cloaked figure floated above him.

"Looks like I'll have to take that Star Rod from you myself King Dedede," he told him.

"Not on my watch, vampire/wizard!" he yelled.

"You've already upset me with the stupid theme song you stuck in my head, so be prepared to feel the pain!" he declared.

Nightmare exposed his tornado body to launch dark stars in all directions. King Dedede rolled across the ground to avoid them. The monster teleported multiple times before he then pointed a bony finger at Dedede. A streaming line of stars shot across the ground, and Dedede again used his useful rolling to dodge them. Dedede then toke a quick second to breathe.

"Whoa, I'm lying as still as I can be, but the background's still moving!" he exclaimed.

He quickly brought the Star Rod to his eye and desperately sung a quick and careless song into it, and it sparkled to show it went through. When Nightmare appeared again, he waited until the right moment to strike. He exposed his tornado body and approached King Dedede with his swirling torso. With a quick reflex, he stuck the Star Rod up his tornado body and blinding lights shined throughout the area. Nightmare gave a shriek of surprise as the song Dedede sang earlier filled his dark mind.

"IT BURNS!" he roared.

With the king still hanging on, he zipped around the moon's surface like a deranged twister, burning the ground as they went. Dedede was the one controlling his actions, and he smirked of the great accomplishment he was doing. Several minutes past and when the carving was complete, Dedede pressed his big bill against the Star Rod in the tornado and screamed another song as loud as his huge lungs and mouth could release.

That kicked it in the can. A huge explosion rocked the moon, sending the telemarketer king back to Dream Land. Chef Kawasaki came out to see the king sitting on the ground with a lazy smile. Using the Gourmet Race song the second time was damaging enough, but the last song was deadly.

"I could hear that from here! What was that?" the chef asked.

"A certain theme song for a certain, local anime," he replied. "Anyway, look up there."

They both turned to see the message that was on the moon itself.

**Buy Kawasaki**

"Aw, you couldn't have," Chef Kawasaki said with blushed cheeks.

"Actually… I have a weird feeling that it's sending the wrong message somehow… or the right thing," he said.

"And what's that?" the chef asked.

"Ah nothing, I should go and put the Star Rod back to its rightful place!" said Dedede.

So Dedede the Telemarketer returned the Star Rod to the Dream Spring, and dreams were restored to the land.

With a comfortable sigh, he went back to the castle for a long rest, because tomorrow is when the products will finally arrive for the customers.


	10. Chapter 10 Product Day

Chapter 10 Product Day

It was now judgment time for Dedede the Telemarketer. Packages were placed at each of their customer's door, and the king telemarketer was standing with Chef Kawasaki at the home of Kirby, who was about to test his new Kawasaki Microwave.

The king watched on with anticipated eyes while the chef looked on with an earnest look. Kirby placed a piece of ham into the shiny, black microwave and set the time for one minute. It all seemed to go fine for a few minutes until music started to play. Everyone had to cover their ears from the horrible song.

"Ga!" Dedede retorted. "What's it playing? It's making my ears bleed!"

"That is my super natural theme song!" Kawasaki exclaimed. "I made it after eating three invincible lollipops!"

Kirby was clearly not enjoying the song. He was rolling around the room as though he was a basketball. When the horrible song stopped, the ham was bubbling with an intense heat, and Kirby was reluctant to eat it, but he had to give it a try. Nothing happened, except that Kirby was eating a perfectly normal piece of ham.

"So what's the big deal?" Dedede asked.

"My theme song cooks the meat to its grand taste!" he said.

"What makes it different than any old microwave?" he asked.

"…just the song," he blurted. Kirby was shocked by his true answer.

With a disgusted face, he walked out the door in a bad mood, most likely about to go on a feeding rampage.

Similar disappointments met the other customers. Meta Knight's Kawasaki Mixer could also be made as a disco accessory, and it was too distracting to use. Adeleine's Kawasaki Frying Pan was an even worse distraction, and Ado smirked with triumph as she tried to focus past the disturbing Kirby sounds.

All of this widespread dissatisfaction hurt Dedede's confidence, but Chef Kawasaki was hardly upset.

"You don't understand your majesty," he told him as the king looked at the ground miserably.

"You were actually a very successful telemarketer!" he exclaimed. He looked at him with a surprised look.

"How Kawasaki?" he asked him.

"You successfully convinced ignorant customers to buy your useless products!" he told him.

King Dedede gave it a thought, and he happily jumped with joy once he realized.

"My mischief never wavers!" he said proudly.

The RAT coalition, although hardly surprised by the dissatisfaction, was at least thankful for him saving Dream Land from Nightmare, and so they made a special tribute to the king by sending a touching robocall to many of the Dream Land residents.

_RAT fought hard to save Dream Land's privacy, but King Dedede did not mean any harm. Nightmares had invaded Dream Land! One nightmare came to the Dream Spring and tried to cause pain to the people! King Dedede foiled the Nightmare by hiding the Star Rod from him. Dedede helped RAT save Pop Star! Tonight, Dream Land will sleep sweet dreams!_

King Dedede heard it from his phone on his bed that starry night, and once he gave a big yawn he put the phone back and switched off the light.

"Having jobs is fun, but it's good to be king," he muttered before falling to a peaceful dream where he met his grandma again.

**The End**


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